Yet more advice for my son…

The relationship (a word I never particularly liked as a young man…due to its implications!) you have with a woman is rarely a “settled” thing. It changes. It can run from easy and care-free to demanding and maintenance intensive. A couple of pointers to make yours a little easier to handle. (Some of these apply to marriage as well as dating…but dating is a completely separate blog entry!)

Don’t be an ass, be a man.

- Don’t be conceited. Remember that person I told you about? The one that is smarter, faster, better-looking? He may show up in your woman’s life. The only thing keeping her from running off with him is your track record. If it isn’t the best…watch out! If she does run off with him, figure out if you were the cause, or if she just wasn’t the girl for you.
- Don’t take her for granted. See above, but this is also a respect thing. If you’re in a relationship with a woman, there was obviously redeeming value you sought out and desired to continue to learn about. Don’t ever forget that.
- Don’t be taken for granted. This is also a respect thing. You’re not a doormat, you’re a man. Stand up, have a spine, take a stand. Don’t put up with a woman that berates you unnecessarily (we all deserve a dressing down, every once in awhile…just not constantly or for things that don’t deserve it).
- Be affectionate. This is important. Touch her. Hold her hand. Even just in passing and for just a second, never stop doing this. This conveys desire. When you find yourself not wanting to bother, evaluate this relationship…it may be time to leave.
- Have interests and hobbies. Let your passions show. Get charged up about hockey, hiking, NASCAR, astronomy, whatever, but pursue these things. Why? Because it relieves her of the responsibility of having to constantly entertain you, shows you’re not one-dimensional and hopefully your interests let you interact with other guys.
- Hang out with the guys. Men need time to be manly. Our society is quickly becoming too damn PC and tame. Hang out with guys that don’t constantly want to discuss things like antiquing, scrap-booking, or talk about colors you’ve never heard of like taupe, periwinkle or salmon (I had to look those up! And a salmon is a fish for pete’s sake!).
- Have an edge. This could be the lead item in this list. Too many guys fall into the “friend” trap throughout their lives because they are so NICE. They are surrounded by women, yet don’t have a girlfriend/wife. They may be thought of as harmless. God save you from that! You need to be nice to women. You ALWAYS need to be respectful, however, never let a woman forget you’re a man. Doesn’t mean you’re always in charge, making all the decisions, or getting the last word. It simply means you are not to be marginalized, overlooked or disregarded.

So many topics…so little time.

More to follow…