I did it!
More to follow...I'm going riding...
;)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Yet more advice for my son…
The relationship (a word I never particularly liked as a young man…due to its implications!) you have with a woman is rarely a “settled” thing. It changes. It can run from easy and care-free to demanding and maintenance intensive. A couple of pointers to make yours a little easier to handle. (Some of these apply to marriage as well as dating…but dating is a completely separate blog entry!)
Don’t be an ass, be a man.
- Don’t be conceited. Remember that person I told you about? The one that is smarter, faster, better-looking? He may show up in your woman’s life. The only thing keeping her from running off with him is your track record. If it isn’t the best…watch out! If she does run off with him, figure out if you were the cause, or if she just wasn’t the girl for you.
- Don’t take her for granted. See above, but this is also a respect thing. If you’re in a relationship with a woman, there was obviously redeeming value you sought out and desired to continue to learn about. Don’t ever forget that.
- Don’t be taken for granted. This is also a respect thing. You’re not a doormat, you’re a man. Stand up, have a spine, take a stand. Don’t put up with a woman that berates you unnecessarily (we all deserve a dressing down, every once in awhile…just not constantly or for things that don’t deserve it).
- Be affectionate. This is important. Touch her. Hold her hand. Even just in passing and for just a second, never stop doing this. This conveys desire. When you find yourself not wanting to bother, evaluate this relationship…it may be time to leave.
- Have interests and hobbies. Let your passions show. Get charged up about hockey, hiking, NASCAR, astronomy, whatever, but pursue these things. Why? Because it relieves her of the responsibility of having to constantly entertain you, shows you’re not one-dimensional and hopefully your interests let you interact with other guys.
- Hang out with the guys. Men need time to be manly. Our society is quickly becoming too damn PC and tame. Hang out with guys that don’t constantly want to discuss things like antiquing, scrap-booking, or talk about colors you’ve never heard of like taupe, periwinkle or salmon (I had to look those up! And a salmon is a fish for pete’s sake!).
- Have an edge. This could be the lead item in this list. Too many guys fall into the “friend” trap throughout their lives because they are so NICE. They are surrounded by women, yet don’t have a girlfriend/wife. They may be thought of as harmless. God save you from that! You need to be nice to women. You ALWAYS need to be respectful, however, never let a woman forget you’re a man. Doesn’t mean you’re always in charge, making all the decisions, or getting the last word. It simply means you are not to be marginalized, overlooked or disregarded.
So many topics…so little time.
More to follow…
The relationship (a word I never particularly liked as a young man…due to its implications!) you have with a woman is rarely a “settled” thing. It changes. It can run from easy and care-free to demanding and maintenance intensive. A couple of pointers to make yours a little easier to handle. (Some of these apply to marriage as well as dating…but dating is a completely separate blog entry!)
Don’t be an ass, be a man.
- Don’t be conceited. Remember that person I told you about? The one that is smarter, faster, better-looking? He may show up in your woman’s life. The only thing keeping her from running off with him is your track record. If it isn’t the best…watch out! If she does run off with him, figure out if you were the cause, or if she just wasn’t the girl for you.
- Don’t take her for granted. See above, but this is also a respect thing. If you’re in a relationship with a woman, there was obviously redeeming value you sought out and desired to continue to learn about. Don’t ever forget that.
- Don’t be taken for granted. This is also a respect thing. You’re not a doormat, you’re a man. Stand up, have a spine, take a stand. Don’t put up with a woman that berates you unnecessarily (we all deserve a dressing down, every once in awhile…just not constantly or for things that don’t deserve it).
- Be affectionate. This is important. Touch her. Hold her hand. Even just in passing and for just a second, never stop doing this. This conveys desire. When you find yourself not wanting to bother, evaluate this relationship…it may be time to leave.
- Have interests and hobbies. Let your passions show. Get charged up about hockey, hiking, NASCAR, astronomy, whatever, but pursue these things. Why? Because it relieves her of the responsibility of having to constantly entertain you, shows you’re not one-dimensional and hopefully your interests let you interact with other guys.
- Hang out with the guys. Men need time to be manly. Our society is quickly becoming too damn PC and tame. Hang out with guys that don’t constantly want to discuss things like antiquing, scrap-booking, or talk about colors you’ve never heard of like taupe, periwinkle or salmon (I had to look those up! And a salmon is a fish for pete’s sake!).
- Have an edge. This could be the lead item in this list. Too many guys fall into the “friend” trap throughout their lives because they are so NICE. They are surrounded by women, yet don’t have a girlfriend/wife. They may be thought of as harmless. God save you from that! You need to be nice to women. You ALWAYS need to be respectful, however, never let a woman forget you’re a man. Doesn’t mean you’re always in charge, making all the decisions, or getting the last word. It simply means you are not to be marginalized, overlooked or disregarded.
So many topics…so little time.
More to follow…
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Advice continued…
I left off with taking care of mom, and a small side discussion of why you shouldn’t be too cocky.
I could go through each stage of life, trying to articulate a man’s responsibilities, but I’m going to digress a bit...
My discussions with my son center around me wanting him to be a better man than I. He’s got all the tools and I want to ensure he understands how tragic it would be to waste them. So we talk and I try to instill in him not only the understanding of what makes a man (IMHO), but also the desire to be that guy.
So the next point is…
BE A MAN!
Very trite. All encompassing. Yeah, I know, but it begs the question: What is a man? Or What is manly?
Ah…now we’re off and running…
Women like men because they’re men.
- Don’t be a drama queen. If women wanted an emotional, gushing, sensitive man(?) they’d find themselves a gay one (uh-oh…the PC police will be knocking at my door soon!).
- Be tough. Physically, mentally, morally. It is an expectation. When the $hit hits the fan, don’t fall to pieces, Alice! You are supposed to be the rock. You will see her through whatever happens, because you are that guy. You will take care of her above yourself (offer your coat when it is cold, you’ll stand to let her sit, etc) because you are a man and that is your job.
- Hold your emotions in reserve. Everything loses effectiveness if used too much. Maintain an even keel, because too much emotion dilutes the power of a real emotion. Don’t get mad at little things. Don’t cry when you’re hurt, in public.
Side note here: Crying is a special topic. My son used to ask about it a lot when he was younger, but I think he gets it now. Crying is allowed…in certain situations. It is reserved for private, intimate circumstances involving only those closest to you and only for truly significant events.
- Tell the truth. Right along side of Rule #1, this is also a mantra in my son’s life.
o I’ll relay a very short story: As the recently appointed leader of my son’s Webelos den, I received turnover from the outgoing mom. She had brought some candy as prizes for the boys learning the Scout Oath and the Scout Law. As is expected, my son won his prize, but the other boys hadn’t yet mastered those requirements and I took the candy home with the promise of another chance at the next meeting. My lovely wife saw candy on the table at home and ended up eating them. She intended to replace them, but never got around to it. Meeting day comes and the boys learn the oath and laws, but no candy. I proceed to start telling them I forgot to bring the candy when my son announces “Dad, Mom ate them!” I start to say how Mom didn’t know they were the scout’s and he says “Yes she did!” At that point I realized he was already a better man than I, and promised to make amends. He is well on his way!
- Admit failure. Stand up and take responsibility. You’re going to fail. If you never fail, you ain’t trying hard enough! But when you do, admit it, don’t blame anyone and move on. Learn from it but don’t dwell on it.
- Be decisive. You don’t have to make every decision, but in a void you quickly decide on a course of action and proceed.
- Take care of your chores. Consolidate your excrement. Your job is to take care of everything outside the house and the garage. You’re the vehicle guy. You take out the trash and change the filters. You can get help with any of these, but ultimately they are your responsibility.
- Be confident...but not conceited. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman that liked any man at either extreme. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. You’ll get the job done, because it is what you do. You’re that guy!
I realize anyone reading this can quickly say the above points have been made a million times over. You’re right. The reason sayings become trite and overused is because THEY ARE TRUE.
More to follow…
I left off with taking care of mom, and a small side discussion of why you shouldn’t be too cocky.
I could go through each stage of life, trying to articulate a man’s responsibilities, but I’m going to digress a bit...
My discussions with my son center around me wanting him to be a better man than I. He’s got all the tools and I want to ensure he understands how tragic it would be to waste them. So we talk and I try to instill in him not only the understanding of what makes a man (IMHO), but also the desire to be that guy.
So the next point is…
BE A MAN!
Very trite. All encompassing. Yeah, I know, but it begs the question: What is a man? Or What is manly?
Ah…now we’re off and running…
Women like men because they’re men.
- Don’t be a drama queen. If women wanted an emotional, gushing, sensitive man(?) they’d find themselves a gay one (uh-oh…the PC police will be knocking at my door soon!).
- Be tough. Physically, mentally, morally. It is an expectation. When the $hit hits the fan, don’t fall to pieces, Alice! You are supposed to be the rock. You will see her through whatever happens, because you are that guy. You will take care of her above yourself (offer your coat when it is cold, you’ll stand to let her sit, etc) because you are a man and that is your job.
- Hold your emotions in reserve. Everything loses effectiveness if used too much. Maintain an even keel, because too much emotion dilutes the power of a real emotion. Don’t get mad at little things. Don’t cry when you’re hurt, in public.
Side note here: Crying is a special topic. My son used to ask about it a lot when he was younger, but I think he gets it now. Crying is allowed…in certain situations. It is reserved for private, intimate circumstances involving only those closest to you and only for truly significant events.
- Tell the truth. Right along side of Rule #1, this is also a mantra in my son’s life.
o I’ll relay a very short story: As the recently appointed leader of my son’s Webelos den, I received turnover from the outgoing mom. She had brought some candy as prizes for the boys learning the Scout Oath and the Scout Law. As is expected, my son won his prize, but the other boys hadn’t yet mastered those requirements and I took the candy home with the promise of another chance at the next meeting. My lovely wife saw candy on the table at home and ended up eating them. She intended to replace them, but never got around to it. Meeting day comes and the boys learn the oath and laws, but no candy. I proceed to start telling them I forgot to bring the candy when my son announces “Dad, Mom ate them!” I start to say how Mom didn’t know they were the scout’s and he says “Yes she did!” At that point I realized he was already a better man than I, and promised to make amends. He is well on his way!
- Admit failure. Stand up and take responsibility. You’re going to fail. If you never fail, you ain’t trying hard enough! But when you do, admit it, don’t blame anyone and move on. Learn from it but don’t dwell on it.
- Be decisive. You don’t have to make every decision, but in a void you quickly decide on a course of action and proceed.
- Take care of your chores. Consolidate your excrement. Your job is to take care of everything outside the house and the garage. You’re the vehicle guy. You take out the trash and change the filters. You can get help with any of these, but ultimately they are your responsibility.
- Be confident...but not conceited. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman that liked any man at either extreme. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. You’ll get the job done, because it is what you do. You’re that guy!
I realize anyone reading this can quickly say the above points have been made a million times over. You’re right. The reason sayings become trite and overused is because THEY ARE TRUE.
More to follow…
Friday, April 20, 2007
Advice for my son...
I'm constantly trying to infuse my son with what he calls "life lessons."
At certain points in our conversations, he'll look up at me and ask: "Dad, is this a life lesson?"
My usual response is "Yes."
Two reasons: One, because he's pretty bright and quickly catches on when I'm trying to tell him something I think is important and two, because I want him to remember certain things.
It occurred to me on a recent TDY that I should try to organize these thoughts and write them down...3 handwritten pages later...here is the first point in this process.
Small note here...My 10 year-old already knows Rule #1. I've drilled it into his brain for the last 3 years, and if you ever ask him what Rule #1 is, he is very quick to respond appropriately.
So begins "Advice to my son..."
RULE # 1
TAKE CARE OF YOUR WOMEN.
Plain and simple, it is a man's responsibility to take care of his women. If you are a son, take care of mom and sisters. If you are a husband, take care of your wife. If you are a father, take care of your daughters. Later in life, take care of your mom again.
But what does that mean? Well if you ask me (and he does!), it means your women come FIRST.
Let’s start with mom…
I’ve tried to instill in my son a sense of responsibility. You don’t want mom worrying about you. You want mom to be proud of you!
How do you make these things happen?
Be the model kid.
- Behave. Probably the best way to make mom proud.
- Get good grades. Mom won’t worry about you in school.
- Do your homework. She shouldn’t have to keep up with your school work.
- Pick up after yourself. She cleans the entire house, why would you add to her burden?
- Do what she tells you, when she tells you. This is a respect thing, and isn’t that what this is all about?
- Take care of yourself physically. Moms worry about these things. So brush your teeth, take good showers, eat right, play outside a lot and keep yourself in shape!
The ultimate goal is going to be a recurring one: Be that guy.
That guy is the kid other moms wish they had. Later in life this turns into that guy girls wish they had, that guy is the husband women wish they had, etc. That guy is also the one other guys look to as an example.
You want to be that guy. He’s the one that makes his mom proud. It all starts when you’re a kid.
I’m a very lucky man. My son IS that guy! At this point in his life he’s doing many of the things I talk about above, and it is hard to imagine being any prouder of him.
But complacency is a terrible trap, always right around the corner. So we talk. We revisit these lessons periodically, and I try to let him know certain things…
As good-looking, smart, charming, nice, hard-working, talented, and gifted as you may be, there is always…ALWAYS, someone out there better looking, smarter, more charming, nicer, harder-working, more talented and more gifted than you are! You may not meet them everyday, you may never meet them, they may sit next to you, but they are there. Don’t ever forget that!
Enough for now…
That was the first third of those three handwritten pages…much more to follow!
I'm constantly trying to infuse my son with what he calls "life lessons."
At certain points in our conversations, he'll look up at me and ask: "Dad, is this a life lesson?"
My usual response is "Yes."
Two reasons: One, because he's pretty bright and quickly catches on when I'm trying to tell him something I think is important and two, because I want him to remember certain things.
It occurred to me on a recent TDY that I should try to organize these thoughts and write them down...3 handwritten pages later...here is the first point in this process.
Small note here...My 10 year-old already knows Rule #1. I've drilled it into his brain for the last 3 years, and if you ever ask him what Rule #1 is, he is very quick to respond appropriately.
So begins "Advice to my son..."
RULE # 1
TAKE CARE OF YOUR WOMEN.
Plain and simple, it is a man's responsibility to take care of his women. If you are a son, take care of mom and sisters. If you are a husband, take care of your wife. If you are a father, take care of your daughters. Later in life, take care of your mom again.
But what does that mean? Well if you ask me (and he does!), it means your women come FIRST.
Let’s start with mom…
I’ve tried to instill in my son a sense of responsibility. You don’t want mom worrying about you. You want mom to be proud of you!
How do you make these things happen?
Be the model kid.
- Behave. Probably the best way to make mom proud.
- Get good grades. Mom won’t worry about you in school.
- Do your homework. She shouldn’t have to keep up with your school work.
- Pick up after yourself. She cleans the entire house, why would you add to her burden?
- Do what she tells you, when she tells you. This is a respect thing, and isn’t that what this is all about?
- Take care of yourself physically. Moms worry about these things. So brush your teeth, take good showers, eat right, play outside a lot and keep yourself in shape!
The ultimate goal is going to be a recurring one: Be that guy.
That guy is the kid other moms wish they had. Later in life this turns into that guy girls wish they had, that guy is the husband women wish they had, etc. That guy is also the one other guys look to as an example.
You want to be that guy. He’s the one that makes his mom proud. It all starts when you’re a kid.
I’m a very lucky man. My son IS that guy! At this point in his life he’s doing many of the things I talk about above, and it is hard to imagine being any prouder of him.
But complacency is a terrible trap, always right around the corner. So we talk. We revisit these lessons periodically, and I try to let him know certain things…
As good-looking, smart, charming, nice, hard-working, talented, and gifted as you may be, there is always…ALWAYS, someone out there better looking, smarter, more charming, nicer, harder-working, more talented and more gifted than you are! You may not meet them everyday, you may never meet them, they may sit next to you, but they are there. Don’t ever forget that!
Enough for now…
That was the first third of those three handwritten pages…much more to follow!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
From a link on Dad's blog...
I'm not too surprised...
The questions were good for a laugh or two!
| You are a Social Liberal (66% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (61% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Using Dad's blog as a springboard to the quiz below, I find I'm Dune. This pleases me. Interesting...
You're Dune!
by Frank Herbert
You have control over a great wealth of resources, but no one wants to
let you have them. You've decided to try to defend yourself, but it may take eons before
you really get back what you feel you deserve. Meanwhile you have a cult-like following
of minions waiting for your life to progress. This would all be even more exciting if you
could just get the sand out of your eyes.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
I'm enjoying what's left of this weekend and readying myself to get caught up at work tomorrow. I've been off for ten days now and it has been NICE!
10 days from now I'll be in Albuquerque for a quick-turn (in the afternoon of the 30th out on the 31st). The commander almost solely responsible for my becoming an officer is pinning on Colonel. I feel I should be there. It helps that my oldest daughter lives in ABQ and Southwest is sooo very inexpensive.
That's all for now...
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!!!
Alright...so Sam has started his new blog ( http://sams-rantsnraves.blogspot.com/) and vowed to post 3-4 times a week, I shall try and work my way up to once a week and go from there...
In keeping with the normal theme this time of year, I've got a few resolutions. I know Dad has specifically mentioned NOT having any, but I've come to the realization that I work fairly well under pressure and with specific goals. I live and die by task or "to-do" lists. Unfortunetly I usually wait until the last minute to work these things, but I'm going to try and work on that too. So here they are:
1. Quit procrastinating. I have a feeling I'd be in a much different place in life if I could just beat this one bad habit. Specific items to focus on: Daily emptying of my inbox at work, not going to sleep until I've finished at least 75% of my daily "to-do" list (Yes, I make one of those everyday).
2. Get in better shape. Duh...I'm ok, but not where I want to be. Specific items to focus on: Cardio 3 times a week (how hard is it to devote just 30 minutes, 3 times a week?? Really!!). Fast food no more than 1 time per week (my current class has weekly lunches on Friday. Can't really skip those forever...rationalizing on my part?).
3. Get out of debt. Another common resolution. Specific items to focus on: See the above fast food item, stop myself from making impulse buys! I am notorious for doing this! My entire family knows my track record with vehicles. Bad joke is I'd rather trade a car in than put new tires on it. Bad because it seems on the surface to be true!
Alright...that's it...wish me luck!
Alright...so Sam has started his new blog ( http://sams-rantsnraves.blogspot.com/) and vowed to post 3-4 times a week, I shall try and work my way up to once a week and go from there...
In keeping with the normal theme this time of year, I've got a few resolutions. I know Dad has specifically mentioned NOT having any, but I've come to the realization that I work fairly well under pressure and with specific goals. I live and die by task or "to-do" lists. Unfortunetly I usually wait until the last minute to work these things, but I'm going to try and work on that too. So here they are:
1. Quit procrastinating. I have a feeling I'd be in a much different place in life if I could just beat this one bad habit. Specific items to focus on: Daily emptying of my inbox at work, not going to sleep until I've finished at least 75% of my daily "to-do" list (Yes, I make one of those everyday).
2. Get in better shape. Duh...I'm ok, but not where I want to be. Specific items to focus on: Cardio 3 times a week (how hard is it to devote just 30 minutes, 3 times a week?? Really!!). Fast food no more than 1 time per week (my current class has weekly lunches on Friday. Can't really skip those forever...rationalizing on my part?).
3. Get out of debt. Another common resolution. Specific items to focus on: See the above fast food item, stop myself from making impulse buys! I am notorious for doing this! My entire family knows my track record with vehicles. Bad joke is I'd rather trade a car in than put new tires on it. Bad because it seems on the surface to be true!
Alright...that's it...wish me luck!
Friday, October 27, 2006
DON'T FALL OVER DEAD OF SHOCK!
Yes...I'm posting again...
I said I'd update at least quarterly. So here it is...
Dad over at Exile in Portales (I'd insert link here, but as often as I blog, I've forgotten how and it is early...read: Not enough coffee in me yet!) reminded me of a particular pet peeve: perfume and after shave.
I've always been of the opinion that there are a lot of things that men just shouldn't do:
Tummy tucks
Ladies'drinks
Cry in public...in fact crying is allowed in very few instances!
Complain...taking note of a situation is allowed, once, repeating the same lament over and over is verboten!
FAIL to take care of their women. This is worthy of another post...hell, of a book, but not now...
So...back to perfume and after-shave...
My lovely wife, perfect as she is, will buy me different colognes from time to time. She gets frustrated with me when I tell her I like to wear the SAME cologne all the time. I believe you should set an expectation for people. When I'm around you will always see a (hopefully!) courteous, well-groomed, attentive man, that will always smell like this. This shouldn't change. So you know that the other things won't change either...
Anyway...
Thanks for reminding me Dad!
The pic above is my new truck...I just put it there to be like my dad and so you would know instantly that I had posted something...nice, huh?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Just a quick update...
I'm back from a couple of TDYs and an unplanned trip to mom's to see what help I could be with her in the hospital.
She's out now and actually headed here...to rest and relax, lest the daily California grind get her down.
I'm headed to Vegas tomorrow...my oldest daughter is 21 today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICITY!!!
She's actually arriving there as I post this. Her mother, my mother and her brother are anxiously awaiting the birthday girl's arrival in Sin City. A short time later...a trip to the casino is the first order of business for mom and daughter. Good luck to them!
That's all for now...
Will update again...at least quarterly...
:)
I'm back from a couple of TDYs and an unplanned trip to mom's to see what help I could be with her in the hospital.
She's out now and actually headed here...to rest and relax, lest the daily California grind get her down.
I'm headed to Vegas tomorrow...my oldest daughter is 21 today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICITY!!!
She's actually arriving there as I post this. Her mother, my mother and her brother are anxiously awaiting the birthday girl's arrival in Sin City. A short time later...a trip to the casino is the first order of business for mom and daughter. Good luck to them!
That's all for now...
Will update again...at least quarterly...
:)
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Gonna go watch some stuff get blown up today! F-16 strafing run is on tap as well. Can't wait...
Life continues at a breakneck pace...if that's what passes for breakneck around here. Seeing Dad's picture of one of my old F-16s this morning on his blog makes me more homesick than ever...not for Cannon, mind you, but for the flightline.
My turn will come though. One more year of life here at the logistics center and I'll be (hopefully!) on the line again, or someplace really close to it!
Got Dad's old Yamaha running again...some paperwork drills remain and it will shortly become my daily ride. $30 worth of gas into my truck in two days time of just regular driving around, back and forth to work, makes this a very welcome addition to the garage. Thanks again, Dad!!
Anyway...time to get a very quick workout in and then it's off to watch stuff blow up!
Life continues at a breakneck pace...if that's what passes for breakneck around here. Seeing Dad's picture of one of my old F-16s this morning on his blog makes me more homesick than ever...not for Cannon, mind you, but for the flightline.
My turn will come though. One more year of life here at the logistics center and I'll be (hopefully!) on the line again, or someplace really close to it!
Got Dad's old Yamaha running again...some paperwork drills remain and it will shortly become my daily ride. $30 worth of gas into my truck in two days time of just regular driving around, back and forth to work, makes this a very welcome addition to the garage. Thanks again, Dad!!
Anyway...time to get a very quick workout in and then it's off to watch stuff blow up!
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